The Brutally Honest Guide to Value Propositions That Don't Make People Yawn

Let's be honest, most value propositions read like they were written by a committee of robots attempting to sound human after studying corporate jargon dictionaries. "We leverage synergistic solutions to optimise cross-functional paradigms." Brilliant. I'll take seven, whatever it is you're selling. Having watched my own carefully crafted value proposition for luxury candles fail to ignite sales (before the whole business went up in smoke), I've developed a slightly cynical but ultimately practical approach to this marketing cornerstone.

Why Most Value Propositions Are Absolute Rubbish

The problem with most value propositions is that they're written to please the founder's ego rather than address customer needs. We spend weeks perfecting clever wordplay that impresses absolutely no one except our mothers. Meanwhile, potential customers are left scratching their heads, wondering what exactly we're offering and why they should care.

I've sat through countless pitch meetings where founders (myself included) ramble on about their "revolutionary approach" and "disruptive technology" without ever actually explaining what the bloody thing does. Your customers don't care about your self-proclaimed revolution. They care about their problems and whether you can solve them without creating seven new ones in the process.

A proper value proposition answers three questions with brutal clarity: What do you offer? How does it help? Why are you different? If yours reads like the mission statement of a mid-tier management consultancy having an identity crisis, it's time for a rewrite.

The Value Proposition Canvas: A Framework That Actually Works (If You're Honest)

The Value Proposition Canvas, created by Alexander Osterwalder, isn't just another business school framework to make consultants feel important. It's actually useful—when applied with ruthless honesty. The canvas breaks down into two parts: the Customer Profile and the Value Map.

The Customer Profile forces you to articulate what your customers are trying to achieve (jobs), what's annoying them (pains), and what would make them unreasonably happy (gains). The Value Map outlines your products/services, pain relievers, and gain creators. Where these sections meaningfully overlap, you've got the beginnings of a value proposition worth its salt.

The genius of this approach is that it forces you to stop talking about yourself and start obsessing about your customers. Novel concept, I know. After burning through capital developing products nobody wanted, I've learned that understanding customer pains isn't just marketing fluff—it's survival.

When filling out this canvas, the trick is to be pathologically specific. "Customers want to save time" is useless. "Working parents need to prepare nutritious dinners in under 15 minutes without creating a washing-up nightmare" gives you something to work with. The key is understanding that founders frequently misdiagnose customer pain because they listen to what customers ask for (a feature) instead of understanding what they are trying to achieve (an outcome). As Forbes notes, customers are experts in their problems, but you are the expert in the solution.

Examples That Don't Make Me Want to Gouge My Eyes Out

Let's look at some value propositions that actually communicate something meaningful, shall we?

Stripe: "Payments infrastructure for the internet." Simple, clear, specific. They're not "revolutionising financial transaction paradigms" or some other nonsense. They're building the payments plumbing that makes the internet work. Done.

Slack: "Where work happens." Again, refreshingly straightforward. They're not "optimising cross-functional team synergies through revolutionary communication protocols." They're creating a space where work gets done.

Monzo: "The bank that makes money work for everyone." Notice how they don't drone on about their technology stack or mobile interface? They focus on the outcome: making money work for you, not against you.

The pattern here is painful clarity. These propositions sacrifice cleverness for comprehension. They prioritise customer understanding over founder ego. And—most importantly—they pass the "so what?" test that most value propositions fail spectacularly.

Writing a Value Proposition That Doesn't Reek of Desperation

Right, so you're convinced your current value proposition needs binning. Here's how to craft one that might actually convince someone to part with their money:

• Start with customer language, not industry jargon. If your grandmother wouldn't understand it, rewrite it.
• Focus on outcomes, not features. Nobody cares about your "proprietary algorithm"—they care about sleeping better, earning more, or impressing their friends.
• Be specific about who it's for. "For busy professionals who..." is infinitely better than "For everyone who..."
• Include a clear timeframe if relevant. "Helps you learn Spanish in 10 minutes a day" beats "Helps you learn Spanish."
• Address the skepticism directly. "The meal kit that actually saves you time" acknowledges and confronts the doubt in your prospect's mind.

After watching my luxury candle business flicker out partly because I couldn't clearly articulate why anyone should pay £45 for something they could burn, I've become religious about clarity. Your value proposition isn't the place to demonstrate your extensive vocabulary or philosophical depth. It's where you tell people exactly why they should give you money instead of keeping it.

Testing Your Value Proposition Without Spending a Fortune

The truth about value propositions is that they're hypotheses, not holy scripture. You need to test them in the wild before carving them into your website header and business cards. Having spent far too much on branding before validating my business model (a classic founder mistake that still makes me wince), I'm now an advocate for cheap, fast testing.

Here are some practical ways to test your value proposition without remortgaging your house:

• Run small Google or Facebook ad tests with different value proposition variations and see which gets higher click-through rates.
• Create simple landing pages with tools like Unbounce or Carrd and measure conversion rates.
• Interview potential customers and literally ask them "Does this solve a problem for you?" (And then shut up and listen to their answer.)
• Post variations in relevant online communities and track engagement (just don't be spammy about it).
• Use the "bar test"—can you explain your value proposition to a stranger in a bar without them glazing over or changing the subject to the weather?

Remember, the goal isn't to find a value proposition that you love. It's to find one that makes customers reach for their wallets while nodding in agreement. After watching potential customers politely smile at my passionate candle monologues before buying nothing, I've learned that polite nods don't pay the bills.

Value Proposition Crimes to Avoid at All Costs

Before we wrap up, let's review some value proposition sins that should be punishable by being forced to listen to startup pitch competitions for 24 hours straight:

• The "We're the Uber of X" cop-out. Comparisons to tech giants rarely communicate actual value and make you sound unoriginal.
• The jargon jungle. If your value proposition contains "synergy," "leverage," "paradigm," or "disruptive," start over.
• The meaningless superlative. "Best," "leading," and "premier" are not value propositions; they're unsubstantiated bragging.
• The features list masquerading as benefits. Listing what your product does rather than why anyone should care.
• The "something for everyone" trap. If your value proposition tries to appeal to everyone, it will resonate with no one.

I've committed every one of these crimes at some point, and each resulted in blank stares, polite nods, and empty sales pipelines. Learn from my mistakes. Be clearer than you think necessary, then clarify it some more.

The truth is, crafting a strong value proposition is an act of courage. It requires making choices about who you serve and how, which necessarily means choosing who you don't serve and what you don't do. After trying to be all things to all potential candle enthusiasts and ending up being nothing memorable to anyone, I can tell you that specificity isn't limiting—it's liberating.

When to Know Your Value Proposition Needs Life Support

Your value proposition isn't performing if you're experiencing these symptoms:

• You find yourself having to explain your explanation. If you're constantly following up your value proposition with "What I mean by that is..."
• The most common reaction is "Oh, that's interesting" (translation: "I have no idea what you just said but want to be polite").
• People consistently misunderstand what you do after hearing your pitch.
• Your conversion rates are abysmal despite decent traffic.
• You feel the need to apologise for or justify your pricing immediately after sharing your value proposition.

I spent months ignoring these warning signs in my previous business, convincing myself that people just needed more education about the product. The harsh reality was that I hadn't given them a compelling reason to care in the first place. No amount of "education" can overcome a fundamentally weak value proposition. This is why determining if a problem is actually worth solving is crucial before you even craft your value proposition.

Value propositions aren't static, either. As markets evolve, competitors emerge, and customer needs shift, what once resonated may begin to fall flat. The moment you notice engagement dropping is the moment to revisit your core message. This is particularly important when you're in the early stages of finding your market fit and working on finding your first 10 customers.

Bringing It All Together: The Value Proposition That Sells While You Sleep

The ultimate test of a value proposition is whether it can sell without you being there to elaborate, justify, or clarify. Does it communicate sufficient value on its own to move someone from indifference to interest? Does it differentiate you enough that prospects don't immediately compare you to the cheapest alternative?

The best value propositions create an "aha!" moment—that flash of recognition when a prospect suddenly sees how their life could be better with your offering in it. They don't require mental gymnastics or a decoder ring to understand.

After all the frameworks, examples, and testing methods, remember this: a good value proposition isn't about being clever; it's about being understood. It's not about impressing; it's about connecting. And it's certainly not about you; it's about what you can do for others.

The next time you're tempted to describe your offering as "revolutionary," "game-changing," or "disruptive," stop and ask yourself: "Would this make someone say 'I need this' or just 'I need to end this conversation'?" Your bank account will thank you for the honesty.